


Domestic Comforts

by imamaryanne



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Mild Language, implied Harry/Ginny - Freeform, implied Remus/Sirius - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-11
Updated: 2012-05-11
Packaged: 2017-11-05 04:24:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/402407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imamaryanne/pseuds/imamaryanne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Tonks' death, Harry offers a home to Remus and Teddy. While Harry is busy figuring out his own personal life, he learns more about Remus', and their relationship takes on new meaning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Domestic Comforts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mairi Nathaira (Tara)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tara/gifts).



> Written for Mairi Nathaira. A gift for her for opening my eyes to different pairings. 
> 
> I honestly meant this to be four, maybe five thousand words, tops. It got away from me a bit. 
> 
> Unbeta'ed. All errors are my own.

Harry Potter sighed as he opened the front door to number Twelve Grimmauld Place.  Working in the aurors office was...not what he expected.  In the years since the fall of Voldemort, the aurors had been working with the Department of Magical Law Enforcement to make sure all the wizards who had been associated with death eaters were being caught.  The problem was, that there were no new dark wizards.  The Aurors office, it seemed, wanted Harry there for no other reason than to say Harry Potter worked for them. 

It's not that he wished more wizards would go to the dark side.  Except that sometimes he did.  He was certain there were still dark wizards, biding their time, waiting for the celebratory times in Britain's wizarding world to fade.  But until that time came, Harry was stuck in an office with little to do, except make speeches to the wizarding world, ensuring them that the ministry was in good hands. 

He looked forward to coming home every day. Especially today, when he'd made an uncomfortable stop at the Burrow before heading home.

As he opened the door, a little blue blur streaked toward him.  His Godson, Teddy, whose hair was the brightest blue Harry had ever seen was running full speed toward him. 

"Teddy-man!" Harry scooped the little boy up and gave him a kiss on the cheek.  "Where's your dad?"

"Inna loo," Teddy said.

The restroom door opened and Remus walked out, looking flushed.  "Ah, Harry.  How was your day?"

Harry shrugged, failing to answer the question.  Complaints about his work might send Remus into another spiral of depression, which happened every time he felt like he should be contributing money to the household.  No matter how many times Harry insisted Remus was welcome to live there as long as he liked and that, now that Tonks was dead, to concentrate on raising Teddy, Remus would occasionally panic over his own lack of finances.  "Slughorn gave me this to give to you," Harry held out a bag with a bottle of potion in it.

"Thank you," Remus said gratefully.  "I wish I could pay you back-"

Harry cut him off.  "Stop.  Your safety is important to me and to Teddy. Anyway, Hermione is close to obtaining her status as Potions master.  She'll be able to brew it for you soon enough."

Remus nodded, blushing slightly.  He changed the subject, "Dinner tonight is roast beef and asparagus.  I made fresh pumpkin juice, you know Teddy doesn't care for the kind we buy in bottles in Diagon Alley."  Harry looked down at Teddy, who smiled sweetly, in his ultra-spoiled way. "For tomorrow, I made a casserole, which has been charmed to begin heating fifteen minutes before you normally get home from work."

"I got it.  I got it," Harry assured Remus. 

Every full moon, Remus was gone no longer than thirty-six hours, and he felt as though the household would fall apart without him.  So he continued as though Harry hadn't spoken at all.  "I'll leave for the shack tonight, and stay my usual day to rest up.  Teddy is in bed by nine, none of those Beedle the Bard stories.  They rile him up before it's time to sleep.  In the morning, drop him off with Molly at the Burrow, then pick him up when you leave work.  Let him know I'll be back  the following morning, Harry.  Please don't forget to let him know that."

"I won't.  Remus, it's fine.  I've got it under control.  Every month we do the same thing, and every month it turns out fine."  Harry failed to mention that he always read from Beedle the Bard before bed.  What was the point in having a Godson if you couldn't bend the rules with the lad a little?

"Good then."  Remus ushered Harry and Teddy into the kitchen for dinner.  He took the bottle of potion out and drank it in its entirety.  As he did every month, and as Harry came to expect, Remus made a face.  "Pity about Severus, really.  Somehow Horace can't make a wolfsbane potion that doesn't taste like vinegar.  Severus' tasted more like wine." Remus sighed. 

Not only did the potion not taste as good as Snape's, it wasn't nearly as effective.  Had Severus lived and continued making the tricky potion for Remus, it would have been possible for Remus to stay in the house during his transformations.  Because Horace Slughorn wasn't quite the potions master that Severus had been, Remus didn't feel safe staying in the same house with his son and Harry.  So he chose to spend the nights of the full moon, and the entire following day (when all he wanted to do was sleep) in the shrieking shack.  Harry thought it a bit morbid, it was where Severus died after all.  But Remus rather liked the old place.  It reminded him of the happiest time of his life, when he was a marauder. 

During dinner, Remus and Harry chatted about their days, while Teddy tried to sneak asparagus to his new cat, Mr. Tinky-toes.  In the middle of eating, Harry heard the familiar whoosh sound, letting him know that someone was floo-calling him in the kitchen's fireplace.  Harry's back was to the fireplace, and therefore Ron didn't see him cringe when Remus said, "Ron. How are you?"

"Harry, you big git." Ron said, failing to acknowledge Remus. "What are you playing at, dumping Ginny like that?"

Remus turned to Harry, eyebrows raised in surprise. "You broke up with Ginny?"

Harry's stomach clenched, and he nodded slightly at Remus before standing up and turning toward the fireplace.  He knelt down in front of Ron. "I had to."

"What? Why?" Ron asked angrily. "She said you didn't even give her a reason."

"I know I didn't. I just....I can't explain it to you."

"You're a right arse, you know that? She's been crying all afternoon, Ginny has. Won't even settle down for Hermione."

"Ron. Don't you think I feel bad about this. I love Ginny, but it just would work out."

"Why not?" Ron demanded.

"It just wouldn't." Harry's voice has gotten soft. Ron opened his mouth to speak again, but was cut off by the doorbell ringing.  "Wait here," Harry said and he got up to answer it.

Remus came with him, "Harry, why didn't you tell me?" Remus asked in a hushed voice.

Harry shrugged, not answering Remus as they got to the front door.

George Weasley stood on the stoop.  "Merlin, Harry.  You're a complete arse, you know that?" George shouted at him. "I don't care that you're the savior, that you're a big-bad Auror now. I don't see what's to stop me hexing you from here til Sunday."

Harry grabbed George by the wrist and dragged him down to the basement kitchen, where Ron was waiting in the floo, and where Teddy had obviously just finished giving all his asparagus to Mr. Tinky-Toes.  Harry forced George to kneel in front of the fireplace and he spoke to both Ron and George in a chillingly calm voice.  "Do you two have any respect for your sister?"

"What?" Ron said, clearly affronted. "You're the one who dumped her."

"Not because I don't respect her."

"Great way to treat someone you have so much respect for," George added snidely.

"Does Ginny know either one of you are here?" Harry demanded.

"No." Ron admitted. Harry turned to George. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, and Harry knew that his answer was no as well.

"How do you think Ginny would feel, knowing you two are coming after me to fight her battles for her? Do you even know your sister at all? Do you even know that nothing makes her angrier than being made to feel like she's nothing more that the baby girl of your family? Do you think she can take care of herself?"

George looked slightly ashamed at least, but Ron rolled his eyes. "It's what big brothers do."

"Not if they have a sister like Ginny." Harry said. "She can take care of herself, and she wants to take care of herself."

"Is that why you dumped her then? Because she didn't need caring for?"

"Don't be stupid," Harry said. As his voice started to raise, Remus picked up Teddy and took him out of the kitchen to play in the parlor.  "I had my reasons, and I don't need to explain myself to you."

"But you do to Ginny," Ron countered.

Harry paused. He knew Ron was right. He hadn't given Ginny much of a reason, he knew. But it was something he wasn't ready for. "I'll talk to her," Harry promised. "I just need a little time."

George stood up, "Fine. But make it soon, because I do know Ginny, and I know she won't do well without a few answers." He started to pat Harry on the shoulder, but seemed to think better of it, and left without so much as a goodbye to either of them.

Ron huffed. Now that George was gone, the anger seemed to deflate from him, and he looked up at Harry.  "Harry," he pleaded. "What's going on with you? It's no secret you hate working at the Auror's office. You barely talk to us anymore, and now you break things off with Ginny?"

Harry shrugged. He wanted to tell Ron, but the thought of telling him, truthfully, why he broke up with Ginny made his stomach clench uncomfortably around his dinner.

"Talk to me?" Ron asked.

Harry shook his head. "I want to work some stuff out on my own," was all he'd say.

Ron sighed, clearly annoyed at getting nowhere with Harry. "Fine. I'll talk to you later." And before Harry could respond, Ron left the floo with a whoosh. 

Harry was still kneeling in front of the fireplace when Remus walked in. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently.

Harry turned to him and shook his head. "Not especially."

Remus nodded.  "All right, I respect that."

"Thanks," Harry mumbled.

Remus began eating his meal, "Just remember that I'm here if you are ready to talk."

After dinner Remus hurried to say his goodnights to Teddy in order to get to the shack before sundown.  Harry watched Remus disapparate, then turned to Teddy.  "Well, Teddy.  Let's get your pajamas on and read a little Beedle the Bard." 

"Beedy-Bard, Beedy-Bard," Teddy shrieked, jumping up and down.

For the first time all day, Harry smiled genuinely.  Giving his beautiful Godson a home was the best decision he ever made.

_____________

Remus Lupin wasn't sure exactly when this had happened, but at some point, he began viewing Harry Potter not as a boy who needed guidance, but as a man who was his equal in every way.

After the war, when Tonks had died, Remus was living with his mother-in-law. While he was grateful for the home Andromeda provided for him and Teddy, the living situation became uncomfortable when Remus was unable to find a job.  While things had gotten better in the wizarding world, they hadn't changed so much that employers were willing to hire werewolves.  Andromeda was clearly annoyed that Remus was unemployed and relying on her for help, financially and with raising Teddy.

Harry must have picked up on the strained vibes one evening while visiting for dinner, because he explained that he would be gone for six months for Auror training, and he was wondering if Remus would be willing to stay at 12 Grimmauld Place while he was gone. Kreacher had died a couple months earlier and, as Harry explained to Remus, "Hermione would have my arse if I got another house elf."

Remus accepted the invitation to house-sit. When Harry got back from training, Remus was ready to go back to Tonks' mother's house, but Harry asked him to stay. Remus initially wanted to refuse the young man his kindness.

"I want you here," Harry insisted. "You don't need a job, you need to raise Teddy. I'm rubbish at cooking and cleaning and I would be a mess without you."

"You don't need to do this," Remus said.

"I know I don't _need_ to. I like having you here. I don't want to live alone." Remus hesitated. Staying with Harry was really preferable to staying with Andromeda. But he didn't like to accept Harry's charity.  Harry saw that Remus was considering refusing. "For Teddy," Harry explained. "He's my Godson, and I think it'd be better for him to be raised here."

When Harry put it like that, that Remus would be doing it for Teddy, he relented. 

It had now been over a year since he and Teddy first moved in, and their lives intertwined with Harry's in a very comfortable domesticity.  Harry got up and went to work each day, and Remus tended the house and concentrated on raising Teddy. Remus could see that Harry was not thrilled with his work in the Auror's office, and felt guilty that perhaps he was only staying there in order to earn gold to help support him and his son.

But that wasn't it, obviously. Harry had enough gold, passed down from James, that he didn't need to work at all. Remus was unsure what was keeping Harry at the Auror's office. He was, after all, the famous Harry Potter. Anyone would have hired him in an instant.

This newest twist, Harry breaking up with Ginny, was something that didn't surprise Remus all that much, to be honest. He was surprised it had taken Harry so long to do it. Remus sometimes didn't quite know what to make of Harry's sudden inability to make decision and act on them.  Acting on his emotions had been Harry's m.o. for the entirety of his adolescence. But Remus had been able to see the Harry had been unhappy with his relationship for months before he'd broken things off with Ginny. And now he's holding on to his Auror position for reasons Remus couldn't explain.

A little over a month passed after Harry broke up with Ginny, and while Remus would occasionally ask about it, Harry was still refusing to talk. Remus didn't like to push it, but he was beginning to wonder if the suspicions he'd had for years now about Harry being gay, were actually true.

When Harry arrived home from work one afternoon, he greeted Remus with, "Ginny's coming over before dinner."

Remus raised his eyebrows, "Are you....patching things up?"

"No." Harry said. "I just want to talk to her."

Remus nodded, "I'll keep Teddy out of your hair."

When Ginny showed up, Remus took her to the parlor, and shut the door behind him. He took Teddy into the kitchen as he began working on dinner.

Harry had forgotten to perform a muffliato charm, and in this old house, voices traveled. Remus tried not to overhear, but it was unavoidable. He couldn't hear what Ginny was saying, her voice was too quiet. But he could hear snippets of what Harry was saying.

"...just figured this out....If I had known I never would have...didn't mean to lead you on."

Remus became distracted, and the knives chopping potatoes and onions that he was controlling with his wand dropped to the counter with a clang. He realized with a lurch what it was that Harry was telling Ginny, because it sounded an awful lot like what he'd told his high school girlfriend months after he'd broken up with her.

Harry was telling Ginny that he's gay.

Remus gulped. He had confirmation, and this was _bad._ The furtive looks Remus had been giving Harry, the way he looked appreciatively at Harry's body had been fine when Remus believed it to be something that would always remain unrequited.  But this? This was not good.

Harry was _James' son_. Harry was still young, and instead of thinking of him as a man, Remus should still be helping protect the boy. James would never forgive him for the impure thoughts Remus had been having about Harry.  Remus had to take a step back from this, recommit himself to keeping his relationship with Harry more platonic.  No more sneaking looks, no more longing for kisses. This was Harry. _Harry is James' son,_ Remus repeated to himself over and over.

He lifted his wand slowly, and resumed making dinner, concentrating harder on not overhearing anything going on in the parlor.

A few minutes later, the parlor door opened, and Harry and Ginny walked out. Ginny had obviously been crying, but she looked much happier than when she'd first arrived.  She gave Harry's hand a quick squeeze, "I'll talk to you later?" she asked him.

Harry nodded, "Yes," and leaned in to kiss her cheek. They climbed the stairs to the front door.

Minutes later, Harry returned to the kitchen and watched Remus making dinner. They were both silent. Finally, Harry broke the silence. "I think I explained everything to Ginny. She understands."

Remus nodded. He didn't know if Harry was trying to goad him into asking for details. "Good," he murmured. 

Harry stood there for a minute and Remus glanced at him. Harry looked like he was fighting with himself over whether or not to continue this conversation. Finally, he simply said, "I think I'll go play with Teddy until dinner is ready."

Remus considered this newest situation.  On one hand, it was stupid that he and Harry now had this one thing, this one _huge_ thing, in common and were remaining silent about it. One the other hand, Remus had to keep reminding himself that Harry is James' son, and talking about them both being gay could lead to something that shouldn't happen with _James' son._

But still. It might be nice to talk to someone about things. About what had lead him to marry Tonks in the first place.

_______

That evening, Remus and Harry put Teddy to bed together. Teddy loved it when both tucked him in and told him a story together.  Teddy reached up and hugged them both.  "Night daddies."

Harry and Remus looked at each other, shocked. Neither one moved for a moment, before Harry gave an embarrassed shrug and said, "Good night, Teddy."

As they closed the door, Remus said. "I'll make us some tea."

Remus made the tea and brought it to Harry in the sitting room. Harry looked up at him guiltily. "I'm sorry about Teddy calling me daddy," he said. "I can explain it to him tomorrow."

Remus was surprised at Harry's guilt. "No, he's a child. This is just how things seem to him. You have been an awful lot like a father to him."

"But you _are_ his father."

Remus shrugged, "I am. But you are our support. You are, in many ways Harry, fulfilling the father role that I always wanted to, but am instead filling the motherly role."

Harry grinned, "Don't let Hermione hear you say that."

Remus nodded and laughed faintly. "I know. It's silly to say, especially in these modern times. But I am all right with this set up we have now."

They sipped their tea in silence for a minute when Remus spoke again, this time somewhat hesitantly. "You may not know this, but my relationship with Tonks was on the rocks when she died."

Harry looked up sharply. "It was?"

Remus nodded.

"But what happened?" Harry asked, quickly adding "If you don't mind me asking."

"I married Tonks for the wrong reason to begin with." Remus began. "You may not know this but I had been in a relationship for almost two years prior to Tonks. And we dated then married so quickly, it was more a response to...." Remus drifted off.

"She was like a rebound girl?" Harry asked.

Remus looked surprised. "A rebound girl?"

Harry shrugged, "It's a muggle term. It means a girl you go out with quickly, or just sleep with, after you've just gotten out of another long-term relationship. Rebound girls are never supposed to last."

"I wouldn't call Tonks a rebound girl," Remus said thoughtfully. "We were both acting out of grief." Remus stood up and began pacing the room. "Harry, I never told you this, and we had been planning to tell you at some point, when you'd gotten older. But...the person I was in a relationship with for two years? It was Sirius."

Harry stilled. Remus continued, "I'm sorry, we never told you. You were so young, and then there was all this build-up to the war and you were dealing with Umbridge and with being made to look a fool by the Ministry. Then Sirius died, and I just....I never told you. And then I married Tonks, and it seemed pointless to bring up the fact to anyone that I'm gay. Because then I'd have to face up to the fact that I had no damn business marrying her."

"You're gay?" Harry asked.

"Yes," Remus answered, sounding almost relieved to be able to say it.

"And you and Sirius were lovers?"

"Yes," Remus answered.

"And Sirius never thought to tell me he's gay?"

"I don't know that Sirius was." Remus answered. "I think Azkaban left Sirius distrustful and scared. And I was an old friend, so I was safe. I think he loved me and he learned to be more....open...to things he might not otherwise have been open to. I don't know that there's a name for what he was."

Harry answered dully, "It's called sexual fluidity."

Remus looked impressed. "I like that phrase. I think it fit Sirius."

"Did Tonks know?"

"Yes."

"Why would she have agreed to marry you?"

Remus sighed. "I don't really know. After Sirius died, we took a lot of comfort in each other. At some point, it turned sexual, and then marriage just became the next logical step." Remus looked over at Harry. "We didn't talk about it, they way we should have. I think we were both grieving and were happy to just ignore it. It was....it was already starting to go poorly when Tonks got pregnant. Then I stayed for Teddy's sake."

Harry put his tea down gently on the table in front of him. "Merlin." He paused and Remus looked at him expectantly. "I don't even know what to say. Was Tonks' death, like, _convenient_ for you?"

Remus looked horrified. " _No,_ " he said emphatically.

Harry backtracked, "I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that. That's horrible."

There was a pause. This wasn't the way Remus had particularly seen this conversation going.  Tonks' death a convenience? He'd never even considered that, though it was true he grieved mostly for Teddy missing out on knowing his mother.  Tonks was a wonderful woman, and a great mother to Teddy. But no, her death was in no way convenient for Remus.

"Should I not have told you this?" Remus asked.

"What? No.  I mean, yes. Yes, I'm glad you told me. It's just....a lot to take in right now." Harry scratched his chin thoughtfully. "I think I'm going to go to bed."

As Harry left the room, Remus sat there a while longer pondering what had just happened. He'd assumed by telling Harry this, that Harry would feel comfortable enough to open up to him. But that wasn't what had happened. Remus wondered about Harry, about the lack of confidence he was showing. Bravery was a Gryffindor trait, and it was a trait Harry showed in fighting Voldemort, but was obviously struggling with in personal relationships. 

Remus stood slowly and walked to the kitchen, taking Harry's teacup with him and doing the dinner dishes from that night.

____________________

After, that nothing changed.

Their days were the same. Harry going to work, Remus staying home with Teddy and keeping house. They never talked about Remus' confession to Harry. They never bothered to correct Teddy when he called them both 'daddy.' Harry continued to deny being unhappy working in the Aurors office. Harry never came out to Remus. Everything stayed exactly as it had before.

Except for the sidelong glances Remus saw Harry giving him when he was sure Remus wasn't looking.

Remus assumed that Harry's refusal to talk about it was his way of saying that he was all right with him, Remus, being gay and having been in a relationship with Harry's Godfather. Remus hoped that was the case anyway.

One Saturday night, about a month after Remus had outed himself to Harry, Harry came down the stairs from his room wearing what appeared to be new muggle clothes. Dark jeans, black shirt and shining black shoes. Remus saw Harry pull his wallet out of the back pocket of his jeans and count out muggle money.

"I'm going out," Harry announced.

"To muggle London?" Remus asked.

Harry blushed slightly. "Er....yes."

"Are you meeting someone?"

Harry shrugged. "No. I just want to go out. I'm anonymous in the muggle world."

Remus nodded, wondering if Harry was going to a gay bar. "I hope you have a good time."

Harry nodded brusquely. "Don't wait up." He leaned down and kissed Teddy on the top of the head. "Night, Teddy-Bear."

"Night Daddy."

________________

That night, Remus was woken out of a sound sleep by Harry stumbling into his bedroom. Remus sat up groggily and looked at Harry, who had collapsed loudly into the chair next to Remus' bed. 

"Are you drunk?" Remus asked.

"Yes," Harry admitted. "Is that all right with you?"

"Merlin, Harry. You're an adult. Of course it's all right with me. You drink far less now than I did at your age."

"How old were you when you realized you were bent?" Harry asked changing the subject quite suddenly.

"What?" Remus was still trying to shake off the last bit of sleep. "Oh, I don't know. I think I always knew it in a way, but I was probably thirteen when I realized what it meant."

"Thirteen," Harry said shaking his head. "I'm so fucking behind in learning every little thing about myself. I was eleven before I knew I was a wizard. I was fifteen before I knew I'd been 'the chosen one,'" Harry made air quotes sloppily in the air in front of him, "and I was nineteen before I even realized that I'm gay."

"So you are gay," Remus said, sitting up.

"Like you didn't know," Harry said, somewhat snidely. Remus let the attitude pass, Harry was, after all, quite drunk. "I'm sure you had a reason for outing yourself to me last month."

Remus said quietly, "I thought it might help you not feel so alone, Harry. I felt alone for so long. Being a werewolf separated me from everyone but my closest friends, and being gay made me feel separated from _them_ even. I didn't know any other gay wizards."

"Separated from them?" Harry asked incredulously. "You were shagging one of them!"

"Not until much later," Remus pointed out.

"Who else do we know who's gay?" Harry asked. "Is there, like, a gay wizarding society?"

Remus smiled mildly. "Dumbledore was gay. Professor Sprout and Madame Hooch are gay. I'm afraid I'm not the most popular wizard and don't have a lot of wizarding contacts. There are others, I am sure."

"No one can know this about me."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm supposed to be a hero. I'm supposed to be 'The Chosen One,'" Harry made the air quotes again, "And no one will accept a gay hero."

"That's some impressive Gryffindor bravery you're showing there," Remus said dryly.

Harry made a rude hand-gesture at Remus, but didn't look angry, just a bit put-out.  "Yeah, well," he said, which meant absolutely nothing to Remus. "I slept with Ginny. And right as soon as I did, is when I realized who I am. I couldn't even....I had to close my eyes and imagine being with someone else. Then even after I realized it, I stayed with her for months. And I kept sleeping with her and, poor Ginny, I don't think it was very good for her." Harry stopped abruptly before adding, "I wish I wasn't gay."

"It's not the worst thing in the world to be."

"Right," Harry said. "I could be a Slytherin. I could have been a Death Eater. I could be a werewolf, right?"

"You could be dead," Remus said simply.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Don't give me that 'I should be grateful just to be alive bullshit,' because I have been dead, remember? I died and I came back, and life is no fucking picnic."

Remus kind of liked the drunken, cursing Harry Potter with attitude. The spark in him that had been gone since beginning to work for the Aurors was back. _This_ was the Harry he knew and remembered. And Remus had to admit, it turned him on a little bit. "Where did you go tonight?"

"I went to Muggle London. I went to a gay bar."

"How was it?" Remus asked.

Harry shrugged, "I got a handjob in the bathroom."

Remus smiled mildly. "Did that make you happy?"

"Yes. Handjobs are pretty fucking good, you know?"

"I seem to recall that, yes." Remus said dryly. "I meant are you happy now that you've done it?"

"I'm not anything about it," Harry shrugged. "I'm not anything," he added again. "It's just something that happened and it doesn't make me happy or sad or embarrassed or whatever." Harry leaned back in the chair and stretched his arms over his head. "I am pretty drunk though," he admitted. "I might feel differently tomorrow morning."

"You might," Remus agreed. "Maybe you should get to bed. I'll make you a hangover potion tomorrow morning."

Harry lunged forward in the chair so he was leaning onto Remus' bed. His face was centimeters from Remus'. "Good night, Remus," he said softly and placed a gentle kiss on Remus' lips.

Remus could smell the liquor and the unfamiliar cologne, probably of the man who'd given him a handjob, wafting from Harry. Remus didn't kiss back, but neither did he pull away. Harry took that as an invitation to press further, try to deepen the kiss.

That was the moment Remus pulled away. "This is a bad idea, Harry," he said softly.

Harry stood back, swayed slightly on the spot, and asked, "Because I've had too much to drink."

Remus shook his head. "No. Because we shouldn't do this. Because you're Harry, you're James' son and it would be inappropriate."

"I'm of age," Harry pointed out.

Remus gut twisted. "Right, but there's still an age difference. There's still the fact that I used to be your teacher. People would talk."

Harry turned on his heel, swayed slightly again and started to walk out the room. "You're a Gryffindor too, remember?" he asked.

Remus lay back down on his bed, wondering what in the hell _that_ was supposed to mean.

_____

Late the next morning, Remus knocked on Harry's bedroom door. When there was no answer, he walked in to find Harry passed out in bed sprawled out, face up. His shirt was off, but his pants were still on, though unbuttoned and unzipped. He was wearing one shoe and hadn't bothered to remove his glasses. Clearly, Harry had passed out drunkenly.

"Harry," Remus shook his shoulder.

"Mmph," Harry said and rolled over, burying his head into the pillow.

"I have a hangover potion for you, but you need to sit up."

Harry groaned but sat up, clutching his head and blinking hard. "Blimey, Remus. Just let me sleep it off, all right?"

"No. Take this. You'll feel better in less than half an hour." Remus held out a small glass, no more than an ounce large, to Harry.

"This is all I need?" Harry asked, pounding the potion and making a face.

"I used to drink quite a bit when I was younger," Remus admitted. "I've perfected my hangover potion."

Remus got up to leave, and Harry said, "Remus. About last night.."

Remus held up his hand to stop Harry talking. "Lay down, let the potion do its work and we'll talk when you come down feeling better. Teddy is almost finished breakfast and I need to get back to him."

Harry lay back down, the pain in his head already easing a bit.

When Harry got down to the kitchen, after washing up and changing into fresh clothes, Teddy greeted him with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, "Morning, Daddy," he said.  "Daddy said you were feeling bad this morning."

"I was," Harry said, "But your dad made me a potion and now I feel all better."

"Can we play exploding snap?"

"Let me eat first."

"Teddy," Remus interrupted. "Why don't you go make up your bed?"

Teddy scrunched his face, but left the room, leaving Remus and Harry alone, staring at each other awkwardly.

"Er. Oh, sit." Remus said. "I'll make you some tea and toast."

Harry sat obediently. "So. About last night."

"Yes, about that Harry," Remus began. "I stand by what I said. I think starting that type of relationship with you would be a bad idea."

"And you think that because of the age difference and that you used to be friends with my dad, who is dead and can't do anything about it."

"Right," Remus said.

"And you're worried what other people might say."

"Right," Remus agreed.

"But it has nothing to do with the fact that you aren't interested in me."

Remus' hands went still over the teapot. "What?"

Harry got up from his seat and stood closely behind Remus, not touching him, but close enough that Remus could feel his body heat. "I'm asking if you fancy me, Remus," he said quietly. "I'm asking if you ever think of me as more than James' son."

Remus paused before turning and facing Harry. "I would be lying if I said I never found you attractive. You want to know if I fancy you? Yes, I do. But that doesn't make this," he stepped back and waved his hand between their bodies, "a good idea. And I do think of you as more than James' son, Harry. I think of you as a friend."

"I think you're too cautious," Harry said.

"I think you aren't cautious enough."

"We're Gryffindors, remember? Since when are we supposed to be cautious?"

"We aren't teenagers, Harry.  We, or at least I, haven't been for a very long time. Even Gryffindors have to grow up and do what's right rather than always throwing caution to the wind."

"See," Harry said thoughtfully. "I disagree."

"Well, you're young still."

"But I have a lot of life experience."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Yes, you defeated a dark wizard. You also hooked up with a stranger in the bathroom of a muggle club last night."

"Well, if I could hook up with someone at home...." Harry drifted off. Moving even closer to Remus and putting his hands on Remus' shoulders.

Remus' resolve was beginning to wane. He put his arms around Harry's neck and drew him close but stopped when he had a sudden realization. "Tomorrow is the full moon."

Harry went still for a moment. "Right."

Remus stepped back. "You don't know this Harry, but the day of and the day before a full moon, I get very easily...er...excited. Sexually, you know?"

Harry smiled. "Really?" he started laughing. "Why did you never tell me this? Merlin, Remus. Is this why you spend so much time in the loo before you transform? Because you need to wank it?"

Remus was blushing furiously, but nodded his head slightly.

Harry laughed some more and stepped back toward Remus. "This is perfect timing then isn't it."

Remus closed his eyes, battling with himself. On the one hand Harry was standing so close to him and he smelled great. Remus' sense of smell was starting to get wolfish, and he could sense Harry's pheromones. On the other hand, he wasn't a wolf yet, and his brain was screaming at him, _This is James' son!_

Harry leaned in further, slowly, inch by inch he moved his head closer to Remus'. Remus didn't move, but when Harry's lips brushed his, Remus lifted a tentative hand and placed it on Harry's hip, drawing him slightly closer. Harry took the invitation and leaned in harder to the kiss, swiping his tongue along Remus' lower lip. Remus took the hint and opened his mouth, kissing Harry back, their tongues licking into each others' mouth.

"Daddies," Teddy said, standing in the doorway, watching them.

Harry and Remus jumped apart, looking guiltily at each other.

Teddy looked from one to another and asked, "Can we play now?"

"Oh. Er, right." Harry said. "Let me finish my toast."

Remus, who hadn't moved a muscle since jumping back from Harry, starting moving with a manic speed. "Right then. Let me finish this tea," and he busied himself at the stove. Harry noticed Remus making tea the muggle way, not using his wand, and realized Remus' hands were shaking too badly to be trusted with magic. Harry smiled. His own hands were quite calm. He knew what he was doing, and just needed to convince Remus.

Teddy was a needy child that day, keeping Remus and Harry busy and unable to talk until he'd gone down for a nap late in the afternoon. Harry was using his wand to clean up Teddy's toys, when Remus walked into the room.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking this morning. I don't want to decide anything about the nature of our relationship until after the moon. I need to be thinking more clearly."

"Fine," Harry agreed.

_____________

Harry was on tinterhooks, waiting for Remus to get back a couple days later. He and Teddy played endless rounds of snap. They went to the Burrow where they saw baby Victoire, who Teddy was patiently waiting to grow up a little so he could have a playmate. Ginny was kind to him, which made it much less awkward among the rest of the Weasleys, who'd been nearly absent since he and Ginny broke up.

When Remus walked into the house, hours later than normal, Harry acted as though he hadn't noticed Remus' late entrance at all. "Teddy and I have already eaten dinner," he said casually. "But there is still some on the stove for you."

"Thank you, Harry,' Remus said with stiff formality.

Harry looked at Remus, trying to gauge his thoughts, but Remus' face was blank as ever. He opened his mouth to say something, but Teddy burst into the room and gave Remus a hug, "Daddy. I missed you!"

Remus picked Teddy up and hugged him back, "I missed you too, Teddy Bear. Did you have a good time with  Harry?"

Teddy leaned back, "Harry? Oh, Daddy. Yes, we played a lot of games and he read me Beedle the Bard, and we went and saw baby Victoire! Did you know she's started walking?"

"Beedle the Bard, eh?" Remus asked, looking at Harry, smiling.

Harry shrugged, "Sorry. What's the point in being a Godfather if I can't bend a rule or two here."

Remus smiled, put Teddy down and grabbed a plate and began filling it. "Haven't you been listening? You aren't Godfather anymore, Harry. You're daddy."

Harry smiled, his chest aching with emotions he couldn't even put into words. He was standing here, talking to a man he was pretty sure he loved, and he was a daddy too. He felt like he had a family for the first time in his life.

When the thought hit Harry, Remus said, "I took some extra time today to do some thinking."

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"What?"

"I love you," Remus repeated. "I could go into all the reasons I have for it....that you are a father to Teddy. That you love me enough to give me a home. That you are self-sacrificing. But all those things can't really explain what I feel in here," he tapped his chest, "Which is just that I really do love you."

"What about what people are going to say?" Harry asked.

Remus shrugged. "The only opinions I care about are those of people who just want us to be happy."

Harry's face broke into a grin. He took Remus' plate and set it on the table.

He cupped Remus' face in his hands and brought their lips together softly. "I think we did this backwards," Harry said.

Remus smiled, bumping his nose into Harry's softly, "Did what backwards?"

"This whole relationship. Most people meet, get to know each other, have sex, get married and have the baby.  We met, had the baby, got married - for lack of a better term - and then got to know each other."

"You know what that leaves?" Remus asked.

"Oh I do," Harry assured him, planting another kiss on Remus' lips.

 


End file.
